Image: Anti bullying week
Bullying is one of the topics I feel strongly towards and nobody should have to go through this, as I truly and simply believe, "treat others as you wish to be treated" as cliché as this may sound.
My years at secondary school were the worst years of my life, and I was effected severely by the experiences I faced. Bullying was not the only issue in my life at this point, as I was also a carer for my mum who suffers from mental health, who was undiagnosed until I reached around year 10. Understandably this was very difficult and the bullying led to me being more depressed. I would always tell myself to focus, stay strong and get the grades so I can do better, and used this as my motivation.
I was judged from the colour of skin to my religion, my opinions and the way I looked. I hated being different and wished that I could be more like them, (whatever that meant). It was like living in a world full of criticism at school and at home - however my mum was not to blame for her actions, but that did not make a difference it still hurt, as I was unaware that she was ill. I remember the days where I would get snide remarks and racist comments, and one time physically attacked because I was 'different'. All I wanted to do was go home. However, what was home? it was a place where I was living in fear of what my mum would do next. It was a lonely time where I would stay in my bedroom, felt isolated and depressed with no one to talk to. I remember crying myself to sleep every night. Nobody had any idea what I was going through, regardless of my struggles I would always put a smile on my face, I did not want them to WIN.
I was always a shy child and quite reserved so I never stuck up for myself. I believed I wasn't worthy and that I was the problem because that's what I was told, so I purely accepted any criticism that came my way. I look back now and think "why did you put up with this?" as I have a completely different mentality now. These experiences defeated me at the time and I felt like there was no escape, but they made me stronger in the long run. For a while I was full of resentment and hate, but soon realised that how can I be happy if I am full of hatred, why should I let them dominate my life? I now have no emotions towards them, and think to myself perhaps they were going through a difficult time themselves, due to the majority of bullies coming from backgrounds with personal problems in their lives. Regardless, this did not condone this type of behaviour.
This is something that I have never really spoken about before because I feel people with give me sympathy and that is not what I want. I feel there are so many children with huge amounts of potential, that are held back, made to feel worthless and feel they need to fit in. I hate when people will judge and laugh at others because of having different interests and talents and knock the confidence out of people. This should not be happening.
I try not to think of my past now, I believe life is about living today and looking to the future. I have come along way since then, and have recently graduated from uni this year and secured myself a graduate job. Whilst also looking to take part in charity work for young carers like myself. It scares me to think that I was in such a position back then, and upsets me more to know that there is probably many others going through what I went through or worse.
My advice to others is to be yourself, stand up for what you believe, regardless of what others say. Everyone is unique, that's what makes us special and never let anyone tell you different. We should be praising and motivating each other for having ambitions and goals, not knocking them down. As I always say you have to believe to achieve. For those who may be reading this, who are going through something similar. Please remember to stay strong, keep your head up and stay focused. Keep yourself motivated, take time out to do the things you love and be happy.
Life lesson learn from all this; I am glad that I am different and have a different mentality to most, that's what makes me who I am. If that means I do not fit in, so be it. I'd rather be happy, do what I love and be alone, rather than be desperate to try and fit in, to be somebody I would rather not be anyway. If others are nasty to you that is a reflection of themselves and you should never let others turn you into someone who is full of anger and resentment. Rather you should turn this into positivity, helping and inspiring others. Helping someone is the greatest reward.
Thank you for reading and remember always be true to yourself.
Life lesson learn from all this; I am glad that I am different and have a different mentality to most, that's what makes me who I am. If that means I do not fit in, so be it. I'd rather be happy, do what I love and be alone, rather than be desperate to try and fit in, to be somebody I would rather not be anyway. If others are nasty to you that is a reflection of themselves and you should never let others turn you into someone who is full of anger and resentment. Rather you should turn this into positivity, helping and inspiring others. Helping someone is the greatest reward.
Thank you for reading and remember always be true to yourself.
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